What can I do?
Footprints left by Dory PoP at 6:37 PM, The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. Psalm 23:1
oI'm at the a&e now waiting to register mom... earlier on the st luke home care nurse came to check on mom n suggested that mom needs immediate medical treatment bcos her bed sores has completely deteriorated, there's a total of 3 sores all not looking good where there's dead skins n body discharge n all n one has a 6cm deep cavity.
I was rather calm about it n called my bro to explain the situation n told him I'll go ahead n get ready while he helped call for an ambulance to bring mom over. But while preparing lots of thoughts over crowd my mine again... hahaha i'm only human.
Was reminded how our family testimony was being shared n all over the weekend and the fact that the character Edward actually sound more like me, always questioning God n all and deep down just very angsty about things... I guess it's a never ending faith journey, but honestly it still hurts.
The first question I asked my bro earlier was what if things become worst next year when u're not around? He evaded the question n said I'm doing well so far being calm n all. I've even came to the conclusion that the worst that could happened is that mom or dad goes...
Question is, is it wrong to pray that God start preparing me to let go? That whatever hopes that I have deep down should be let go too? Letting go in terms of preparing myself that should one day God decides to bring dad or mom home i'll be able to submit, surrender and let it all out? Perhaps that's why I suggested taking family photo... a step in documenting my memories
On a side note, I've also lost my job offer for next year cos the entire project got canceled. So yea things again r crashing in altogether making it overwhelming. I kinda lost my interest going to Japan too... What can I do?
Labels: mom family love
dorodori | Please remember to tag before leaving! - I
